I Farted in Class

Here I am in middle school and I have this terrible stomach virus. I was cramping up real badly and my stomach was making rock smashing rumbles. It suddenly feels as if something drops and it makes a loud noise. I can feel the fart coming out, and I can’t hold it in.

I clench the seat with my hands and pull myself down to help prevent the fart but….

It comes out anyways sounds like a kid trying to use a trumpet mouth piece like, “ppfppppppfppppppfppppth”

A few people laughed and the teacher asked, do you need to use the bathroom?

I was trying to work an on the spot witty humor to break the awkwardness, my reply..

“Uhh no, but maybe a fart contest?”

Just really, what the fuck was I thinking?